You know those weeks where everything seems to be going wrong and nothing seems to be going right. When you feel that it is just your turn and that the universe in all its forces are working against you instead of for you. Maybe it comes in threes, or fours, or sixes and you fear to even move or breath waiting for the next one to hit. Well… I am having one of those weeks. I believe it all started last Sunday as we were cleaning off the mildew from my patio in preparation for nice weather. I slipped in the muddy grass trying to get the garden hose and shaved off a number of layers of skin from two of my knuckles. All I wanted was to get the patio looking nice and useable with clean furniture and to plant some beautiful flowers only now I was bleeding and hurting. I believe that moment was the segue to the rest of the week. Every time I turned around there was something else and so much that was not in my control. I had been flung up against that very human thing we all hate…. No control and I was getting a whopping hand of it, despite my very best efforts. I wanted to make it stop, but I couldn’t. I wanted to hide under the covers, but knew that was not good dealing. I wanted to run, but equally knew that would be very bad dealing. I like to think that I do my best to walk the talk I instill while counselling onto my clients, so I turned around and faced the week and all that had happened. I did not run, hide, avoid, or deny. I was going to feel and deal, which was exactly what I did. I stayed present in my tense little tired body and felt the emotions of all that had transpired. Not only did I be with myself but I called upon loved one’s in my life to listen, support, and be there for me. Utilizing all of me and the blessed love from my family and friends. It did not change what was happening or had happened but it felt better in my heart and in my body to be present and it gave me permission to take back what control I do have all the while arming myself for future events and in hopeful anticipation for a better week ahead.
Tranquility on my patio
I love music. Listening to music is my way of grounding myself and connecting back to me. I use it as meditation and as a way to relax. It is one of my ways to just be. Allowing the rhythm, tone, and vibration of the notes to move over and through me as calming as being on a beach listening to the sound of the waves hitting the rocks and sand. Rejuvenating and reviving as each song places me completely and uniquely in my body and in the present moment of time as I sway and breath into my core self. I had a client ask me what it would look like for her to just be. I can understand her confusion as we often value our self-worth in all the things we do. What is the first question people generally ask when they meet us for the first time… What do you do for a living? Somehow this is then viewed as an acceptable measure of who we are. I keep saying that I would like to change this to us asking more appropriately; “Who are you?” “What are you all about?” So, together my client and I explored ways that help her to just be. We discovered that her way of tapping into her core self is through dancing. Her eyes lit up and she moved her body a bit as an expression of joy to remember in her body the feeling of dancing. This grounds her and places her completely in the moment with a heartfelt connection to herself. Are you willing to discover and be curious as to what is your way of being.
Maybe you answered Cuba or France. Maybe if you are somewhere you do not want to be you answered home. Maybe you had wonderful thoughts of biking or hiking, weather permitting this time of year. Perhaps you thought of the joy of being with a loved one. There is my favourite word again – being. Notice that however way you answered the question for yourself it calls out for a chance to just be. To really be you and to be in the moment. Whether it is lying on a beach or hiking through a forest it places one right in the very moment of being. Nurturing, cultivating, rejuvenating your relationship with self and others and deepening your experience of your life, your world. Where do you want to be with you? Maybe it is not possible now or in the near future to be on a beach in the Caribbean or to be at your favourite spot on a lake, but what can you do now to connect, relax, and just be with you to replenish and grow all that is you. The real you and to just be you.
What do you want? In response to this question folks may say things like; “I want more money.” “I want more time.” Or how about… “I want a better car, a bigger house.” Now I am not saying there is anything wrong with wanting these things as it would be wonderful if we could all be able to be so much more comfortable and secure externally, but there is always this angle. How much is more money and when we get it we might just want even more. Time is a tricky one too in that if we could extend the hours in a day we might equally end up wanting more, or worse, trying to do more to the point of pure exhaustion. Over time cars, houses, etc. break down and need maintenance creating larger money problems and massive headaches. My cats, Prue and Piper, would answer the question of what they want is more temptation cat treats… Tempies! Piper works hard each day to hit on me every single time I am in the kitchen, but I have restrained myself (and them) to reasonable quantities twice a day and remind them (and myself) that I will not allow them to live on tempies.
I want to inspire you to consider more in depth what you want. How about contentment, freedom, sense of self, a solid relationship with yourself. Recently, a client of mine answered this question with conviction eloquently by responding with, “I want to be more of me.” My heart tenderly dropped in that she was willing and able to search within her being and tap into her authentic core self of what she truly wants in her life. In that moment she grew her capacity to be with and to deepen her relationship with her core self. Although having secure transportation and a haven that is cozy to come home to, and in the case of Prue and Piper, treats… Are you willing to look deeper into what you want inside of you. Think about it. Indulge in it. Even risk doing it.
Prue hugging her brother Piper.