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	<title>Sheri Phillips Counselling Services Vancouver, BC</title>
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		<title>&#8220;I don&#8217;t always want to be happy. But I do always want to be present.&#8221; – Author Unknown (Sheri Phillips Counselling Services)</title>
		<link>http://www.counsellorsheriphillips.com/sheri-phillip-blog/i-dont-always-want-to-be-happy-but-i-do-always-want-to-be-present-%e2%80%93-author-unknown-sheri-phillips-counselling-services/</link>
		<comments>http://www.counsellorsheriphillips.com/sheri-phillip-blog/i-dont-always-want-to-be-happy-but-i-do-always-want-to-be-present-%e2%80%93-author-unknown-sheri-phillips-counselling-services/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 03 May 2013 23:39:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.counsellorsheriphillips.com/?p=790</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[“I don’t always want to be happy. But I do always want to be present.” There is a funny story behind this quote… I cannot find the author to quote her or him. Actually, one of my facebook buddies posted it so I sent her a message asking if I could quote her thinking she [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>“I don’t always want to be happy.  But I do always want to be present.”  There is a funny story behind this quote…  I cannot find the author to quote her or him.  Actually, one of my facebook buddies posted it so I sent her a message asking if I could quote her thinking she came up with it (as it would be something she would think up to say and try to live by), but alas it was not her.  She thinks that Cindy Crawford said it but my thrifty internet search engine skills cannot locate Crawford saying it nor anyone else for that matter.  If you are a frequent blog follower of mine you might have picked up on that I enjoy quotes.  When I find one that speaks to me I feel as though it becomes integrated into my life professionally and personally.  Like little mantras that keep us inspired and keep us going.  They usually are simple to remember and can be applicable in many situations.  In fact, I have found myself using this quote with a number of my clients this past week.  This one in particular feels as though it lets us off the hook for having to walk around “pretending” to be happy when in fact we may not be.  I personally have always preferred striving to be content verses happy.  Happy all the time is just too much pressure for me.  Not to say that I am not happy a lot of the time.  I enjoy a good belly laugh or the tenderness and soreness of smiling lots (not to mention the slight wrinkling in the corners of my eyes when I smile that have developed nicely over time).  I just do not want this expectation as my gage for striving toward.  Now present makes a heck of a lot more sense to me.  The feeling of striving towards present allows us to fully get out the richness of what we are experiencing.  It is more tangible, real, and enjoyable.  It means I show up fully present in what I am doing and with whom I am around.  It calls to use all of me and the best of me.  It feels good in my body and in my environment.  It is just all around more useful.  So next time you find yourself striving to hard to be happy, maybe try dropping it down a few notches and try just being present.<br />
<a href="/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/GetAttachment.jpg"><img src="/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/GetAttachment.jpg" alt="" title="GetAttachment" width="213" height="159" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-791" /></a></p>
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		<title>The Woggy Man (Sheri Phillips Counselling Services)</title>
		<link>http://www.counsellorsheriphillips.com/sheri-phillip-blog/the-woggy-man-sheri-phillips-counselling-services/</link>
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		<pubDate>Sun, 14 Apr 2013 16:25:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.counsellorsheriphillips.com/?p=785</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[“I am one too strong to fight Return to Dark where Shadows Dwell You cannot have this Halliwell. Go away and leave my sight And take this with this endless light.” Charmed, Season 1, 1998 This was the spell that one of the sister witches used to fight the Woggy Man in the television series [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>“I am one too strong to fight<br />
Return to Dark where Shadows Dwell<br />
You cannot have this Halliwell.<br />
Go away and leave my sight<br />
And take this with this endless light.” Charmed, Season 1, 1998</p>
<p>This was the spell that one of the sister witches used to fight the Woggy Man in the television series Charmed.  The Woggy Man represented Phoebe’s fear of what we know as the Boggy Man when she was a little girl, but when she spoke of him she pronounced it “Woggy Man”.  The Boggy Man, or Woggy Man, signifies a dark shadow or image usually paramount for young children when left alone in the dark at night.  Phoebe had to use the above spell as an adult woman to vanish the Woggy Man with her strength as a good witch presently, but fighting triggers stemming from her childhood fears of him.  Of course she was successful in her power to banish the Woggy Man back to the basement of the family home where it could no longer harm her or others.  Her struggle reminded me of our daily “battle” to ward off our own dark shadows trying to engulf us into old patterns of defensiveness, self-harm, and self-loathing.  Just pay attention to how you may sometimes talk to yourself and how harsh and punitive you can be.  (I do hope too that if you notice how hard you are on yourself with your self talk that you are appalled and willing to be a lot more gentle with yourself.)  We all have the potential to be our very own Woggy Man struggling to keep us from the light of health that our authentic self really wants and yearns for.  The battle within ourselves between dark and light.  Wanting so much to show up as our real self only feeling the pull of past experiences of defeat and fear.  How about this though.  Allowing our authentic life (light) force to be present gives us more control and empowerment to handle all that life sends our way because we are present with self and that feels safe.  Being non-present and disengaged makes us less safe and more powerless to handle things because we are not grounded and busy defending.  We also receive confirmation when in this state we experience more inability to handle things, whereas, when we are present and with self we are more facilitated to handle things.  Not to necessarily control or change things externally to us, but better able to handle and deal with things internally in a comforting and safe manner.  So next time you notice your “Woggy Man” lingering in the shadows try to use your authentic real light force to shine through and keep him/her at bay.<br />
<a href="/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/San-Fran-April-2013-131.jpg"><img src="/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/San-Fran-April-2013-131-300x225.jpg" alt="" title="San Fran April 2013 131" width="300" height="225" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-786" /></a></p>
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		<title>Connecting yourself through movement (Sheri Phillips Counselling Services)</title>
		<link>http://www.counsellorsheriphillips.com/sheri-phillip-blog/connecting-yourself-through-movement-sheri-phillips-counselling-services/</link>
		<comments>http://www.counsellorsheriphillips.com/sheri-phillip-blog/connecting-yourself-through-movement-sheri-phillips-counselling-services/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 30 Mar 2013 15:49:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.counsellorsheriphillips.com/?p=781</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[My partner and I have recently finished a series of dance classes on West Coast Swing dancing. Dance is a lot about hand eye coordination, imitation, trial and error, and determination. I would like to take it a “step” further in that it is also a great opportunity to connect to ourselves and be present [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>My partner and I have recently finished a series of dance classes on West Coast Swing dancing.  Dance is a lot about hand eye coordination, imitation, trial and error, and determination.  I would like to take it a “step” further in that it is also a great opportunity to connect to ourselves and be present in our bodies.  It is about listening to the beat of us and paying attention to the dance and to how we have our bodies move.  Each of us moving and dancing our very own and unique way, just as we do in life.  Why do we feel so good after dancing (or any kind of movement for that matter)?  Once again, we are paying tons of attention to ourselves.  We are noticing, feeling, sensing, listening, focusing, and enjoying.  It is not just about the endorphins firing away that brings us pleasure, but the joy our body feels at how much precise attention we are giving.  Our entire system working together as one unit.  It is about as good as someone else giving us their full and utmost attention.  No, it is actually even better than that.  It is after all… all about the body.  It is so important and so special to connect to ourselves.<br />
<a href="/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/GetAttachment1.jpg"><img src="/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/GetAttachment1-e1364658535757.jpg" alt="" title="GetAttachment" width="159" height="213" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-782" /></a></p>
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		<title>Are you listening to the wisdom of you? (Sheri Phillips Counselling Services)</title>
		<link>http://www.counsellorsheriphillips.com/sheri-phillip-blog/are-you-listening-to-the-wisdom-of-you-sheri-phillips-counselling-services/</link>
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		<pubDate>Sun, 17 Mar 2013 17:03:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.counsellorsheriphillips.com/?p=778</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I am speaking to your intuitive knowledge of you. The part of you that is biologically wired to know when something feels right or wrong; good or bad. The initial response that your body feels in a given situation. It is what we call the “gut” reaction to something. The physical sensation that lasts for [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I am speaking to your intuitive knowledge of you.  The part of you that is biologically wired to know when something feels right or wrong; good or bad.  The initial response that your body feels in a given situation.  It is what we call the “gut” reaction to something.  The physical sensation that lasts for a split second but one that carries a very strong remembrance of it.   How many times have you over rid your strong initial response to something, or someone, and then later had regrets about it and you wonder why you did not listen to you.  Ever pondered why we do this?  Answer: Our thoughts.  We are taught to value our thoughts over every other part of us.  It is the logical, analytical, rational part of us that should be revered &#8211; shouldn’t it?  Maybe not necessarily true when we have an initial gut response.  It is just such a different experience to listen to that split second physical response that comes from our core self that seems to appear out of nowhere verses minutes, hours, or days of rational logical problem solving. The latter may seem superior but it is not.  There are lots of valuable places for us to be analytical in our lives but when it comes to the heart of the wisdom of you and that split second physical reaction we, in fact, do much better to go with it.  It is always right.  It is the body giving us soulful information to our safety and wellbeing.  It is the heart of good judgement and integrity.  It is our safe haven and guide.  Humour me.  Next time you feel the gut response try to go with it and see what happens.  I bet it will be right and the right decision for you and your being.</p>
<p><a href="/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/GetAttachment.jpg"><img src="/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/GetAttachment.jpg" alt="" title="GetAttachment" width="213" height="159" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-779" /></a></p>
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		<title>Noticing (Sheri Phillips Counselling Services)</title>
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		<pubDate>Sun, 24 Feb 2013 21:00:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.counsellorsheriphillips.com/?p=774</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[As my client sat across from me she lifted her head and began to smile as her gaze met mine. Her smile grew bigger as she said, “I noticed the little sensation just now in my stomach. I caught it!” She had indeed caught it, and even more importantly, before I noticed! We both smiled [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>As my client sat across from me she lifted her head and began to smile as her gaze met mine.  Her smile grew bigger as she said, “I noticed the little sensation just now in my stomach.  I caught it!”  She had indeed caught it, and even more importantly, before I noticed!  We both smiled and took a moment to enjoy and honour how far she has come in her journey.  Much of my work focused around me noticing and catching subtle (and not so subtle) body language from clients as a vessel to connect to the emotion that is happening within them.  By noticing and drawing attention to what the body is experiencing creates room for healing.  With this focus the body gives us invaluable information of our experiences as it is the keeper of our entire experiences up until this point, so it has lots to share.  Essentially I am teaching and mirroring this for my clients until, like the client mentioned, can do it for themselves.  Through our connection we foster and nurture this ability to transform from being cut off from the body’s experience to a place where all one’s faculties are available to the client.  Why would all of this be important?  It allows us to be fully whole and present in order to deal with situations with our best foot forward.  It grounds us in the moment which allows us to enjoy our experiences more fully.  It also provides us with a system that is working together instead of only separated parts of ourselves which can be painful and useless.  Try it!  Take a moment to notice what your body is telling you and try to connect it to how you feel right now.  Your whole being will thank you for it.</p>
<p><a href="/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/untitled.png01.png"><img src="/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/untitled.png01.png" alt="" title="untitled.png01" width="213" height="159" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-775" /></a></p>
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		<title>Hold on to your emotions!  (Sheri Phillips Counselling Services)</title>
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		<pubDate>Sun, 10 Feb 2013 19:33:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.counsellorsheriphillips.com/?p=768</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Last week while The P’s and I were over having a play date at my neighbour’s house with auntie and their cousin Meemee we had a catastrophe. As my neighbour and I sat visiting there was a sudden blast of pure mayhem as Piper came flying through the living room, full speed, with a brown [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Last week while The P’s and I were over having a play date at my neighbour’s house with auntie and their cousin Meemee we had a catastrophe.  As my neighbour and I sat visiting there was a sudden blast of pure mayhem as Piper came flying through the living room, full speed, with a brown paper shopping bag hanging for dear life onto him; limbs going everywhere taking out anything he could to get himself securely behind the couch.  It all happened in a matter of seconds.  Prue had been so startled by her brother that as he was reckoning his way to the couch she created her own scene by racing through the cat tube to the other side of the room standing there in astonishment with her fur straight on end.  One would have thought that a pack of coyotes had broken their way in the way he had reacted!  Finally we were able to coax Piper at least down from the back of the couch to underneath the couch so that we could remove the weaved handle from the shopping bag off of him and where we could console him and try to tempt him with treats.  Nothing was working and my little guy stayed solemnly and quietly under the couch until we left.  Auntie’s comment to him was, “Piper, I know that was scary but it was a bit of an overreaction don’t you think.”  We both laughed because in retrospect she was quite right and the scene was a little over the top given the situation.  Of course, we were fortunate that he did not really hurt himself, which I was worried about but he was okay although terrified.  Once home he proceeded to crawl up into my lap and did not leave for the rest of the night.  Minus the overreaction, Piper was acting purely on his instincts and emotions.  Even after the ordeal was over and we removed the object of terror he was instinctively doing what we call working at getting his little system back to a state equilibrium.  Obviously he is not consciously aware of this but if we personify him, through his physical cues of feeling unsafe he was doing everything he could to calm himself down.  I find this fascinating because humans have the same instinct only most of the time we try to over-ride what our emotional signals are telling us in regard to a situation where physically we may feel unsafe or potentially threatened.  By ignoring, minimizing, and/or denying how we feel we place ourselves in a situation where our systems take longer to return to a normal state and we deny our true experiences; no matter how little or big it may actually be.  Even the smallest amount of attention and acknowledgement of how we feel goes a long way to calm us down and then provide us with the faculties to deal better with whatever we are facing.  So, next time you find your little system “off-line” take a moment to notice and be with what you are feeling and experiencing.  Your body will thank you and work with you for the better.</p>
<p><a href="/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/2012-08-21-11.11.06.jpg"><img src="/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/2012-08-21-11.11.06-300x225.jpg" alt="" title="SAMSUNG" width="300" height="225" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-771" /></a></p>
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		<title>A move from external to internal gratification (Sheri Phillips Counselling Services)</title>
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		<pubDate>Fri, 18 Jan 2013 18:20:37 +0000</pubDate>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.counsellorsheriphillips.com/?p=760</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Seeking external gratification to fulfill us can be a challenging and a stressful endevour. I often hear clients focus tons of attention and rationalization to deduce and confirm others’ intentions towards them as purposefully mean without taking the time to really assess if the intention is actually ill warranted. This creates an atmosphere for paranoid [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Seeking external gratification to fulfill us can be a challenging and a stressful endevour.  I often hear clients focus tons of attention and rationalization to deduce and confirm others’ intentions towards them as purposefully mean without taking the time to really assess if the intention is actually ill warranted.  This creates an atmosphere for paranoid thoughts and attempts at mindreading.  Mindreading in and of itself is a traitorous game leaving endless probabilities and ass-u-me(s) malicious intentions between self and others.  But whether I am hearing from clients how disappointed and upsetting it is when others are not hearing them or doing intentional acts to hurt them – for me it begs the question as to where they are with themselves.  My hunch is that their not with themselves.  I then move in and check with them as to where they are with self.  Startled responses leave them wanting to justify further how others are not there and ready and armed for another dozen examples to give me.  I gently ask again as to where they are with self and I get the reaction that I am looking for from their bodies.  A downward sense of restitution where their bodies relax as I can sense their bodies thanking me for shifting attention to it.  “Finally!”  Is what I believe the body is saying to us.  “I am being noticed!”  Suddenly what others are actually or imagined doing to us does not seem so much in the forefront of what we want and need.  The body and all its wisdom knows that it needs the self.  It needs our own attention and care especially when the world around us feels unsafe and somewhat hostile.  The body knows and relies on our own ability to sooth and nurture.  To listen and to understand.  To make matter what we need to matter from an internal standpoint.  This is what the body wants and needs.  Our own attention in order to be grounded and present with self, which in turn allows us to problem-solve and be authentically genuine in our interactions with others.  To listen and to know one’s self is priceless and invaluable for all the situations we face.</p>
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		<title>The start of a new year</title>
		<link>http://www.counsellorsheriphillips.com/sheri-phillip-blog/the-start-of-a-new-year/</link>
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		<pubDate>Tue, 08 Jan 2013 17:52:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.counsellorsheriphillips.com/?p=753</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The new year has begun and I spent the first weekend of it travelling to Vancouver Island to visit a dear friend. She has a beautiful home overlooking one of the inlets in Nanoose Bay. As usual I am always on the lookout for opportune moments to just allow myself to be and to be [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>The new year has begun and I spent the first weekend of it travelling to Vancouver Island to visit a dear friend.  She has a beautiful home overlooking one of the inlets in Nanoose Bay.  As usual I am always on the lookout for opportune moments to just allow myself to be and to be fully in my being and this was one of those moments where it was not hard to do.  My friend’s home and her company allowed for complete being and focus on the very moment.  As her and I gabbed and caught up with each other the sparks of the brilliant flames coming from the fireplace made it that much more comfortable.  The serenity in gazing aimlessly out into the calm still ocean view as the sunrise slowly moved a darkness of shadow like silhouettes into soft light and defined colourful edges of the islands around the next morning.  Not to mention the wildlife that my friend has fed for generations of raccoons and deer.  I counted nine deer of different sizes standing in the yard staring at me waiting to be fed.  I tell you it is really hard not to be fully present in a moment having a  six month baby deer about six feet away from you allowing me to take her/his picture and being quite photogenic about the whole thing!  I am generally not one for New Year’s resolutions as I do not particularly enjoy setting myself up for disappointment, but I do vow at the beginning of each year to continue to grow in the work I do and talk about.  This weekend with my friend and at this haven get-away I was able to start this process.  Wanting to practice over and over being as present as I can be and consciously aware of moments and really take them in; into my heart and being.  Wanting to practice the art and challenge of just being me and that this is perfectly okay.  Not based on what I do or how much I do but based on how I am being me – authentically me.  Wanting to practice noticing what is happening in my body and how I am feeling and again noticing and noticing and paying attention.  Yes – these are the things I want to continue practicing and growing more into this year.  How about you?</p>
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		<title>Finding Balance</title>
		<link>http://www.counsellorsheriphillips.com/sheri-phillip-blog/finding-balance/</link>
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		<pubDate>Fri, 30 Nov 2012 04:42:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.counsellorsheriphillips.com/?p=743</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Balance can be hard to find and obtain. There is always something that needs to be done or could be done. We have all experienced the thought of if only there were more hours in a day or even more days in the week. Regardless of if we value all that needs doing in its [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Balance can be hard to find and obtain.  There is always something that needs to be done or could be done.  We have all experienced the thought of if only there were more hours in a day or even more days in the week.  Regardless of if we value all that needs doing in its purest form or a way to distract.  It can seem like a lot and leaves little time for relaxation and a balanced life style.  My partner experienced this a few weeks ago when his world came to a halting stop (literally speaking) demanding rest as he broke his collar bone in a cycling accident.  He is an avid cyclist and hockey player so he was quite devastated that he will be unable to do his usual activities for a while.  My heart hurt so much for him knowing how important all his activities are to him.  He was forced by forces beyond him to slow down.  Needing him to find patience and to ask for help around every day simple things such as putting on his belt and lacing up his shoes.  Everything taking twice as long to do when he became more able as the days went on post accident.  The surrendering moment of not having control over outcomes that force us to reflect and slow us down.  As much as it hurts us both what he is going through we are able to laugh at the power of the universe to slow him down and provide the rest and relaxation his whole being was in need of and deserves (of course, it would have been a much better situation if he just found room for this in general).  Despite the pain of his arm and the inability to cycle and play hockey his is enjoying some R&#038;R.  Often our need to keep busy and to fit in as much as possible in a given day is a false sense of security and takes us away from what our body; our being is experiencing and truly wanting.  It can be humbling.  Balance…  It is hard!  What can you do to help yourself with your balanced life style going forth?</p>
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		<title>In honour of…</title>
		<link>http://www.counsellorsheriphillips.com/sheri-phillip-blog/in-honour-of%e2%80%a6/</link>
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		<pubDate>Fri, 09 Nov 2012 06:07:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.counsellorsheriphillips.com/?p=739</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Today marks a very sacred and meaningful date for me. The date represents a pivotal moment in my life so I want to honour this day. I want to really take it in. Into my mind; my heart – my whole being. I want to remember and be thankful. To reflect on the power of [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Today marks a very sacred and meaningful date for me.  The date represents a pivotal moment in my life so I want to honour this day.  I want to really take it in.  Into my mind; my heart – my whole being.  I want to remember and be thankful.  To reflect on the power of life with all its ups and downs; sorrows and joys.  I want to place myself solidly in my body and in this very moment.  I want to be open to the sharpness and beauty of my life around me.  I want to spend time with my thoughts, memories, and feelings.  I also want to cherish this day with my loved ones and to let them in to all of me.  I want to take in all that has been and look forward to all that will be to come.  Taking the time to be here in the now and to be thankful.  Thankful for the love and joy my friends bestow on me and me on them.  Thankful for the unconditional love of my family.  Thankful for the courage and strength my clients allow me to witness.  Thankful that for this day and that I am here and I am me.<br />
In loving memory of Sharon Jean Stevens…<br />
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